An imaginable solution

Adriana Cunha de Morais Santos

Arranging the old newspapers on the shelf, I came across countless news items in the policy section on the offenses of our Executive and Legislative representatives, including one showing the mayor of a municipality in Pará, caught with “the sock in hand”; expression that I invented, because they ask for alms (tuition fees), and keep it in stockings (underwear is out of fashion). I flipped through without paying much attention to detail. We know it became
the cleverness of these politicians is routine and what we think is that nothing will change.
Suddenly, tired of folding the various newspapers, I sat on the sofa in the living room and closed my eyes. It was as if I was dreaming, I imagined a solution to end this wide-open robbery. “I saw the politicians being invited to a safari in Africa, each receiving from the hands of one of his countless advisers an envelope with the invitation and the conditions of the trip. They would have to take their alternates too.
They could not, under any circumstances, divert plane tickets to relatives, under penalty of a fine and failure to attend the trip would mean summary execution, I mean, exoneration from their position. I was imagining their concern in calling their
marketers in order to display their best characters. Some would represent the wild bears, in fact they wanted to be the pandas because they are more charismatic, but these are Chinese, Others, the elephants, with all that size, representing strength and power. Some
they would be content to represent the moose in all their magnitude, pose and apparent innocence; in fact they are smart despite their fragile appearance, and have those who prefer deer, after all remembers Bambi, a character full of beauty and majesty. Substitutes, eager to destroy the images of their colleagues, mostly carry alligator leather bags and boots. False environmentalists! Okay, what really mattered was to bring them together in one place.
Arriving in Africa, a chief of ceremonies, showing an ironic look, would accompany them to a somewhat luxurious hotel. Smiling, slightly yellow, he would explain:

  • Welcome, settle down and have lunch. At four o’clock we will go for a walk, to know the animals … wild.
    At four, everyone on board rented jeeps would proceed to the place where they would meet the wild animals. In the reserve of the lions they would be asked to descend, they would promise safety, but in a distraction the guides and driver would leave leaving that rotten meat as a banquet for the poor lions. I imagine the scene: The bear representatives would try to run, but they were so slow and heavy that they would end up being the first to be snapped up.
    Those who represented the elephants, heavy and sucking, would run swinging their trunks, but their strength and power would be no match for the bloody resourcefulness of the hungry lions. The moose would try to protect themselves with their huge horns, so much pose and magnitude, they would try in vain to bribe their executioners:
  • We promise you that hunting of animals will be prohibited, you will not be able to keep them in cages.
    They would end up being torn apart by the beasts’ sharp teeth and claws. Then those who chose the deer would dance with a magnificent ballet, so much delicacy and beauty would end in the last act: the mouth of the lions.
    Anyway, I would go back to Brazil and find the country all disorganized. It would demand a new election, only that no dirty political politician would participate, let alone those who were responding to some process, because no politician is condemned here because Justice is slow, blind, dumb and crippled, worse is a beggar, lives on alms.
    I wish to earn so much alms … But at the end of the election, the politicians would “look at the navel” and do nothing to fix Brazil. They would use the half socket to load the fees, after all it is more discreet. It would be useless to try to put an end to thieving politicians if he does not educate the people, he does not know how to vote. They spend their entire lives in hospital lines, without at least a decent place to die (they die in the corridors or at the doors of hospitals). They live using newspapers, radios and televisions now to the internet to complain about the violence in the streets, the floods and holes. They march, block the streets by burning tires, hindering the poor from working (because politicians have a helicopter) and forget that they put their representatives in the government. Another election, wrong vote, money in the middle, people complain and everything stays the same.
    I opened my eyes and concluded that it would be useless to feed the lion with the spoiled meat of the governors and representatives of the Planalto, there may be no solution. I started folding the old newspapers
    now I only reread news from shows, cinemas, books and soap operas. Who
    you know fiction is more interesting. I started reading an article about
    extraterrestrials. One minute! I found a solution! I’ll send them all
    to Mars. Who knows, there’s no underwear, socks …

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