Love what you wanted


Gil Vicente
Colopendium Appeals
Because Amor wanted it that way,
that my evil lasts so long,
not afternoons sad bliss,
that the pain doesn’t hurt me,
and without you I have no cure.

You flee me, knowing right
I pass a marine danger,
and without you I will go so desert
that when I take care that I get it right,
I’m going out of the way.
Because such careers I follow,
and with such said nation
in this life, in which I don’t live,
that I take care that I’m with me,
and I’m out of my mind.

When I speak, I am silent;
when I am, then I walk;
when I walk, I’m down;
when i sleep, i’m awake;
when i wake up i’m dreaming;
when I call, then I answer;
when I cry, then I laugh;
when I burn, I am cold;
when I show myself, I hide;
when I wait, I suspect.

I don’t know if I know what I’m saying,
that I do not get it right;
run away from my danger,
I’m getting closer and closer
to have more war with me.
They promise me some vain care
thousand favored worlds,
with which they will be rested;
and I find them all changed
in other lost worlds.

I no longer dare to care,
nor can I be without care;
I kill myself for killing myself,

where am i can’t be
without being desperate.
It seems to me how much I see
All sad with prayer:
things that don’t come or go
these are the ones I want,
and I feel sorry for them.

I do not expect medicine,
because that, in which I dig deep,
wait me, I want her so much,
has the heart of Nero
wait to get me out of the world.

Gil Vicente, in ‘Poetic Anthology’

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