NO PATH TO PARADISE


Charles Bukowski


I was sitting at a bar on Western Avenue. It was close to midnight and I was in one of my usual confusions. I mean, you know, nothing works: women, jobs, lack of jobs, time, dogs. Finally, you simply sit in a kind of trance state and wait as if you are on the bench at the bus stop awaiting death.
Well, I was sitting there and then this woman comes with long black hair, good body, brown and sad eyes. I didn’t turn to look at her. I ignored her, even though she sat on the bench next to mine, when there were a dozen other vacant places. In fact, we were the only ones at the bar, except for the clerk. She ordered a dry wine. Then he asked me what I was drinking.

  • Scotch with water.
    “Give him a scotch with water,” she said to the clerk.
    Well, that was unusual.
    He opened the bag, removed a small wire cage and took out a few small people and placed them on the counter. They were all about ten centimeters tall and were alive and well dressed. There were four of them, two men and two women.
    “Do it now,” she said. – They are very expensive. It cost almost two thousand dollars each when I bought it. Now they are reaching $ 2,400. I don’t know how they’re done, but it’s probably outlawed.
    Miniature people were walking over the counter. Suddenly one of the little men slapped one of the women in the face.
    “You bitch,” he said, “that’s enough !!
  • No George, you can’t – she shouted – I love you! I’m going to kill myself! I have to have you!
  • I do not care! Said the little fellow and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. – I have a right to live.
    “If you don’t want it,” said another little fellow, “I’ll take it, I love it.”
  • But I don’t want you, Marty. I’m in love with George.
  • But he is an idiot, Anna, a complete idiot!
  • I know, but I love him anyway.
    The little idiot walked over the counter and kissed the other little woman.
    “I have a love triangle in progress,” said the woman who had bought me a drink. – These are Marty and George and Anna and Ruthie. George is going to be bad, very bad. Marty is half square.
  • Isn’t it sad to see all this? Errr, what’s your name?
  • Dawn. It’s a terrible name. But it is what mothers do with their children sometimes.
  • Mine is Hank. But it’s not sad …
  • No, it is not sad to observe all this. I was not very lucky with my own loves, very bad luck, by the way …
  • It’s the same with all of us.
  • It seems so. Anyway, I bought these little people and now I look at them. And it’s like having and not having these problems. But I get really excited when they start making love. That’s where it gets difficult.
  • Are they exciting?
  • Very, very exciting. My God, they make me crazy!
  • Why don’t you make them have sex? I mean now. We’ll be looking together.
  • You can’t force them. They have to do it on their own.
  • How often does it happen?
  • Oh, they’re pretty good. Four or five times a week.
    They were walking by the counter.
    “Listen,” said Marty, “give me a chance.” Just a chance, Anna.
    “No,” said Anna. – My heart belongs to George. It cannot be in any other way.
    George was kissing Ruthie, touching her breasts. Ruthie was getting excited.
    “Ruthie is getting excited,” I said to Dawn.
  • Yes, it is.
    I was staying, too. I grabbed Dawn and kissed her.
    “Listen,” she said. – I don’t like them having sex in public. I’m going to take you home and put you in for sex.
  • But then I won’t be able to look.
  • Well, you’ll have to come with me.
    “Okay,” I said. – Come on.
    I finished my drink and we went out together. She carried the creatures in a small wire cage. We got in her car and put the people among us in the front seat. I looked at Dawn. She was really young and beautiful. It looked good on the inside too. How could I have failed men? There are so many ways for things to go wrong. The four little ones cost her eight thousand. All this to get away from relationships and in fact not to get away from relationships.
    The house was close to the hills, a place with a pleasant appearance. we got out of the car and walked to the door. I held the cage with the little ones while she opened the door.
  • I heard Randy Newman last week at The Troubador. – Isn’t he great? – He asked.
  • Yes it’s great.
    We entered the room, and Dawn took the little ones out of the cage and placed them on a small table. Then he walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and took a bottle of wine. I brought two glasses.
    “Sorry,” she said. – But you look a little crazy. What do you do?
  • I’m a writer.
  • And will you write about it?
  • No one will ever believe it, but I will.
    “Look,” said Dawn. George took off Ruthie’s panties. He’s sticking his fingers through it. Ice?
  • Yes, you’re doing that. No, no ice. Pure is great.
    “I don’t know what happens,” said Dawn, “but I’m really excited when I watch them. Maybe it’s because

because they are so small. It really turns me on.

  • I understand what you mean.
  • Look, George is sucking on her.
  • Really.
  • Look at them!
  • Good heavens!
    I grabbed Dawn. We stood there kissing. In the meantime, his eyes went from mine to them and back to mine.
    Little Marty and little Anna were watching, too.
    “Look,” said Marty, “they’re going to fuck.” We could do it too. Even the big ones will have sex. Look at them!
  • Did you hear that? I asked Dawn. – They said we’re going to fuck. It is true?
    “I hope so,” said Dawn.
    I took her to the sofa and lifted the dress above the waist. I kissed your neck.
    “I love you,” I said.
  • Same? Love?
  • Yes, somehow, yes …
    “Okay,” said little Anna to little Marty. – We can also fuck, even if I don’t love you.
    They hugged in the middle of the table. I had already taken off Dawn’s panties. She moaned. Ruthie moaned. Marty was approaching Anna. It was happening everywhere. I had the idea that everyone in the world was fucking. So I forgot about the rest of the world. Somehow we went to the room. Then I entered Dawn for the long, slow ride.
    When she came out of the bathroom, I was reading a really stupid story on Playboy.
  • It was so good. – she said.
    “It was my pleasure,” I replied.
    She went back to bed. I put the magazine aside.
  • Do you think we can work together? He asked
  • What you mean?
  • Do you think we’ll be able to be together for a while?
  • Do not know. Things happen. The beginning is always easier.
    Then we heard a shout from the room.
    “Ouch, ouch,” she said.
    He jumped out of bed and ran into the living room. I followed close behind. When I got there, she was holding George in her hands.
  • Oh my God!
  • What happened?
  • It was Anna!
  • What about Anna?
  • Cut his balls off! George is a Eunuch!
  • Wow!
  • Get toilet paper, quick! He can bleed to death!
    “That son of a bitch,” said Anna from the table, “if I can’t have George, no one will.”
  • Now you two are mine! Said Marty.
    “No, now you have to choose one of us,” said Anna.
  • So, which one will you keep? Asked Ruthie.
    “I love you both,” said Marty.
    “It stopped bleeding,” said Dawn. – He’s cold.
    She wrapped George in a scarf and placed it over the edge of the fireplace.
    “I mean,” Dawn continued, “that if you don’t think we will work, I won’t insist.”
  • I think I love you, Dawn.
    “Look,” she said. – Marty is hugging Ruthie!
  • Are you going to fuck?
  • Do not know. They look excited.
    Dawn took Anna and put her in the wire cage.
  • Let me out of here! I’ll kill them both! Let me out of here!
    George shivered from inside the scarf over the edge. Marty had already removed Ruthie’s panties. I pulled Dawn close to me. She was beautiful and young and good inside. I could be in love again. It was possible, we kissed. I popped deep into his eyes. So I emerged and started running. I knew where I was. A cockroach and an eagle made love. Time was an idiot with a banjo in his hand. I kept running. His long hair fell over my face.
  • I’m going to kill everyone! screamed little Anna.
    It stirred in the wire cage at three in the morning.

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