LETTERS TO MY DAUGHTER II
yesterday was Christmas. The day was hectic, full of activities, one gets in and out of people here at home all day. You know well that I don’t like Christmas. I don’t have much of a connection with this day. I have always been somewhat averse to these celebrations, to this excitement that I consider too false, too commercial. But, even if you don’t like it, there’s no way you can’t have any participation in your mother’s arrangements. She, as you well know, has always liked Christmas and sets out to do everything to make everyone feel good. Poor mother! No matter how hard you try, every year it becomes more difficult to keep everyone together at home. The day before, his brothers go out, each one to one side during the whole day, and we only meet, even, in the evening, only for the greetings that are already getting so formal that they are very different from how they used to be, in his time with us .
I even understand, because as they grow up, the children change their interests, getting away from us, more and more. But your mother doesn’t understand and I know that she feels this change. Even more, when she is taken to her grandmother’s house, Ju, where her family always gathers on the afternoon before Christmas Day. Then, he doesn’t understand anything at all. I haven’t been with her for years, since you left us and she fell ill. Today, she no longer complains but I feel that she still resents going with just her brothers. I don’t feel comfortable participating in these parties that they do.
We also lost, here at home, the habit of exchanging gifts between us. To tell you the truth, our Christmas is very dull. The commercial appeal so common in that period does not touch us. The so-called “Christmas Spirit” has passed away from us. A lot, I think, for your absence. Since you left, we no longer celebrate Christmas with the same joy as when you were here. At that time it was different, I remember.
What do we do today? A lunch on Christmas Day that replaces the supper of the night before, as we did in your time. Special meat, fruits, nuts, nuts, soft drinks. We sat with his mother and stayed there, eating and talking. Oh, I forgot … her sister puts a small tree every year that she herself decorates. This is actually the only sign that we are living Christmas. No, I lie. There is also an ornament at the entrance to the house, on the balcony, those little lights that keep flashing all the time. Also your sister’s housekeeping. I confess that it was me who bought it, in a mall where I went to do I don’t know what, but just because I remembered that she would like it. Was right. She loved it and was very happy while setting up the whole thing. Except that hanging up every night became my duty. Otherwise, no one remembers to hang up.
Christmas day is a very long day. Very large. It costs to finish. It seems to have more hours than the others. And the night, then, as it costs to pass. It must be because your mother and I were just awake at home until later. She likes to watch the papal mass on TV. I keep watching some program in the room, a movie, or reading, or writing, which is already becoming a mania to be writing at night.
Sometimes I go there, in her room, to see how she is and I find her emotional. She is still moved by the Mass celebrated by the Pope. Today, the solemn masses celebrated by the Pope at Christmas start earlier but continue until later. A little because of the time zone, but also because of the solemnity of which they are dressed. Your mother is right when she says it is a very beautiful party. St. Peter’s Square and the Basilica full of people. I fully agree with her, although I think it is always very sad. How sad are Christian festivals! There is suffering and there is pain! Deep down, deep down, they end up impressing us.
You know, daughter, as much as I don’t want to admit it, you miss me so much at Christmas. I’m sure your mother and brothers feel the same way. When we look at each other all day, we think about how good it would be if it were with us.
Her mother and siblings participate in a hidden friend’s game at her grandmother’s house every year. She likes to give gifts and ends up giving gifts to everyone. A souvenir that we keep with the greatest affection. In reality, she is the friend who is nothing hidden from all of us. Even I, who almost never go there, end up getting something to remember. How affectionate your grandmother is! And how we all like it!
His uncles and cousins also strive to make his mother and brothers happy. And she, as you well know, loves to be with her mother, siblings and relatives.
That’s how, little girl, your daddy lives Christmas Day.
Always remembering you, forever unforgettable in all our Christmases.
Loving and homesick kisses from